[PEP TALK] For When You’re Doubting Yourself…

I’m a business mindset coach, podcast host, and industry speaker. In 2015, I retired as a school psychologist to focus full time on my multiple 6-figure online businesses. Since then, I’ve worked with hundreds of online entrepreneurs in growing their business vision and game plan.   

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Hi, I'm Marion

So today’s episode is going to be a little different.  I wanted to just speak from the heart to those of you who maybe, I don’t know, maybe need to hear this message in their life right now.

Not everyone has someone in their corner telling them that they’re doing great.  Or encouraging them to take big risks.  Telling them how freakin’ capable and amazing they are…and that they need to dream bigger and take bigger action.  

If you’re lucky, you have parents that spoke that type of belief into you.  Also if you’re lucky, you have a partner or a best friend who is your biggest fan and reminds you all the time how amazingly capable you are.  Cheering you on to push through obstacles and keep going.

But the thing is…most of us don’t have that person or cheering squad.  And that’s okay.  Most people are focused on their own lives and struggles.  

And if you’ve hit a confidence hurdle with something in your own life (maybe it’s starting your own blog business or maybe it’s pursing something big at work)…well…it doesn’t mean your friends don’t care about you.  But maybe they’re focused elsewhere or maybe they’ve never done what you’re trying to do so they can’t really empathize.  

But I believe two things are necessary if you’re going to create big waves in this life:

  1. you need to learn how to become your own biggest cheerleader.  It has to be this ball of light that grows within you and that you let shine…you make that decision.  We talk on this podcast about making decisions that are in line with our ultimate vision for our life…and it’s a decision to become your own biggest cheerleader.  
  1. Seek out people who are on similar paths or who understand what hurdles you might be experiencing and become your own little cheering squad.  You don’t have to do hard things alone…especially with the internet these days.  I mean, there’s a group for everything.  And even if it’s just one other person you connect with…oh gosh….that one person can make all the difference.  Just one person believing in you completely changes the game.

SO I have always been a risk taker.  Well, not with drugs or anything like that.  The hardest stuff I’ve ever done was maybe jagermeister.  Or what’s that stuff with the gold flecks in it that tastes like death?  Goldshlager?  Oh my gosh…my mouth is watering just even talking about it.  Those were bad decisions.  

But okay, my point was that I taught myself to become somewhat of a risk taker as it relates to business.  I have started multiple online businesses and done fairly well in many of them.  But that said, I began all of them without having anyone in my corner so to speak.  

In fact, it was often the opposite.  I would have someone in my ear telling me that what I was doing was a waste of time.  

But I think that’s what makes me so freakin’ passionate about showing up here and reminding you that YOU are worthy and heck, you should go after doing that thing that you’ve been thinking about for years and fear has been holding you back.

I want to be that person that believes in you…

Because I know what it feels like to have someone believe in me…and in my case, it made all the difference.  I was a sophomore in highschool and had never played tennis before but I decided to try out for the team.  Which looking back, was a completely wild and crazy idea…I had no business trying out.

And you guys…all I could find at home was a racquetball racket…which if you’ve seen one, it has a super short handle and a smaller head.  It looks like a tennis racquet for a 2 year old.

And this was around the time in my life when my mom had just died in an accident…so I couldn’t really go ask my dad to go buy me a tennis racquet…it just wasn’t something I could do.  So instead I showed up to tryouts with this little tiny racquetball racket.  I mean, it’s kinda hilarious when I think back on it.

I didn’t know anything about tennis except you hit the ball back over the net with your racket.  I kept telling myself that it wasn’t rocket science and all I had to do was outwork my opponent.  

So the first day of tryouts, the coach has us play against one another so she can see who matches up with who.

And I still remember that I played against a really sweet girl named Monica who was a senior and had already made the team…and you guys…I won.  

Oh my gosh, even I was in disbelief…like I wanted to apologize to Monica because even though I technically won, it was quite possibly the ugliest looking win in the history of women’s tennis.  

But as my coach later told me, “They don’t put stars by the pretty ones” Marion.  A win is a win.

Anyway, from that day forward, the tennis coach took me under her wing.  I don’t know if it was initially because she felt sorry for me because everyone in the school knew my mom had died…or if she saw something in me.  It really doesn’t matter at the end of the day.  She showed me love and she believed in me when I didn’t really believe in myself.

When I had a match where I didn’t think I played well, she’d stay with me late into the night as I hit buckets and buckets of balls under the lights.  She would meet up with me on weekends to hit balls in her free time.  Like she didn’t need to do these things.  

And she would TELL me that I was capable.  That I could play with the best of them.  And that I should expect to win.  

I mean…she was more than just a coach to me.  In many ways, I think back to that time and I know she saved me.  She believed in me and it was her belief that made me believe in myself.  At that point in my life, I didn’t have it within me to fully believe in myself…I needed her belief first and then I could follow. 

I went on to win state my senior year and play in college. Don’t get me wrong…I still was not the most impressive or beautiful looking tennis player.  But if you’ve played tennis, you know that it’s a mental game just as much as a physical one.  And when your opponent sees that you believe in yourself no matter what…well gosh…that’s a competitive edge that’s incredibly difficult to overcome.  

And that’s the gift that my coach gave me.  It started with her belief in me.

I share this story because maybe you can think of a teacher or a coach in your own life that believed in you.  Pushed you to be better….to get uncomfortable and level up?   This is why teachers and coaches are so freakin’ powerful in the lives of children…they truly can change lives.  

But you can do the same thing for others…

If you manage a team at work..your voice + your words + just your simple presence…all those things have an impact on the members of your team.  And you realize that sometimes maybe they don’t just need to hear strategy from you…they need to sense that you believe in them. That you believe in their ability to solve a problem or their gift of creativity to serve a client or sign a deal.  That you see them as a human being and you care about them and their success.

If you manage your children at home…then your belief in them could very well be the best gift you give them.  They’ll take more risks + get outside their comfort zones knowing that they have a secret weapon…and that weapon is YOUR BELIEF in their abilities.  

 And now to my main point of today’s little pep talk…

You can give yourself this gift.  You can look in the mirror and tell yourself “Let’s freakin’ go…you can do this.”   Or if you feel silly talking to yourself, just say it in your head.  

The point is that your words to yourself matter.  And if you’re breathing belief into yourself every single day…I mean, that’s powerful.  That compounds over time and you’re only going to get stronger and stronger.

And if you’re thinking right now that you need a little kickstart…just someone to be in your corner and just remind you that “Hey…you can do this.  Just take one step at a time one day at a time.  I’ll be here with you every step of the way…so let’s go.  You got this” 

then I’ll be your girl. 

It’s why I started this podcast and why I’m passionate about showing up how I do…I want you to know that you’re capable and worthy of incredible things.  I want to breathe belief into you until you’re at a point where you can do it for yourself!  

Because if you keep showing up, you’re going to get to that point.  And when you do, there’s no stopping you.  

And I’ll end with that.  Thanks so much for listening today!

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If you enjoyed this podcast episode, take a quick screenshot of the podcast and tag me over on Instagram Stories at @MarionWagnerCoaching 

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